Return

 It's been a very traumatic two years. I'd entirely forgotten about this blog. Trauma does that--it eradicates everything that went before, making you a stranger to yourself.

To get back:

I've played three Call of Duty campaigns this year. I'm not sure if that's healthy.  The three in question were the new Modern Warfare II, Cold War, and Vanguard. 

The one thing that unites all three of them is that they focus a lot on guns, bullets not really hurting until maybe the fifth or sixth one hits you, and being too long. There is always one or two extra sequences that are not needed in terms of plot but sure do help pad out the game. This doesn't detract overly much from enjoying the campaign, but some merciful editing would be helpful.

Of the three, Modern Warfare II is the most brave. It's your standard grim military story, with grim men being terse while saving the world. It's bravery lies in the game's choice of bad guy. In a tense political time, it's surprising that they went this route. It elevates the standard story with that choice. Without that, it's just another by the numbers COD campaign.

Of all the characters, most are standard grim COD guys. But the only real lights are two Mexican characters, one a cop, the other a cartel leader. The latter has proven to be a popular operator in Multiplayer, which is interesting.

The unnecessary added scene here is a cat and mouse game that makes the player assemble weaponry while hiding. It's fine, but at this point, I just wanted the game to end.

Cold War offers a more interesting story. Set in the 80s,  you play as an agent on a strike team chasing after a Soviet villain. Being part of the Black Ops subgenre, there is a psychological angle added to the running and gunning. The realization of 80s Europe and Moscow are well done and add a lot to the experience. The lighting especially is wonderful, especially in Moscow. If it's possible to capture the Eighties in sunlight, they did it.

Again, the characters remain samey and forgettable. One character looks like James Spader from Pretty In Pink, which I guess is something.

Here, the unnecessary scene is of a psychological nature that runs on way too long. To say you're hammered in the head with a plot reveal would be to fall prey to understatement. Still, it's a game not afraid to embrace its own cynicism, and boy, does it.

My favourite, though, was Vanguard. 

Set during the end of the Second World War, it focuses on an international team striking into enemy lines. Aside from the main story, we are also get to experience the backstories of the team members. The game ends with a thrilling chase across Berlin to stop the formation of the Fourth Reich.

The stand out character from the usual cast of stereotypes is Lady Nightingale, a Soviet sniper. Of all the back stories, hers was the most interesting, especially in her final battle in a destroyed dress makers shop. Much of this is down to voice actress Laura Bailey, who brings her to life in a way the other characters do not. 

The unnecessary scene here was a Desert Rat battle that just added drama to a character who really wasn't that distinguishable from anyone else. 

Still, it was the best of the campaigns. The lighting and sets had a lot to do with this, from the aforementioned dress shop to the cold winter light in Stalingrad. It was clear that the creative team loved the time period, and it really shows.

So, that's some of what I've been up to. I hope I remember to come back here.

The Drawing Of The Three

                                                                  creepy dooooooors

On my quest to read more King, I did.

Book Two of The Dark Tower, The Drawing Of The Three finds Roland, the titular gunslinger from the first novel, searching for the companions he needs for his journey to aforementioned Tower. He finds these companions by walking down a beach where he encounters doors. Doors that open to another world and the companions he must recruit. 

Roland does this by walking through these mysterious doors and entering the minds of the people he needs. It's up to him to convince them, one way or another, to return to his world. This has limited success since people generally don't take kindly to another prescence popping into their heads. There is, shall we say, some resistance. 

I wasn't a fan of the the first novel in this series so approached this one with a feeling of resignation. This was a better read because if King can do one thing, it's create likable characters. Eddie Dean, a heroin addict Roland encounters with the first door, is the typical nice guy in a King novel.  Yeah, he's done some shit, but deep down, he's all right. He's a nice contrast to Roland, who still comes off as wooden. Yes, he's awesome with those guns of his, but there doesn't seem to be all that much to Roland outside of achieving his quest and being grim. 

As well, the other companion Roland meets is also interesting, if not even more dangerous than Roland himself. She lights up the book, both good and bad, when she appears. She's a great character caught in a pretty thin story, though.

Roland's world in this novel is really nothing more than the beach with some killer lobsters. As a fantasy world goes, it just feels grey and unimaginitive. The world Roland goes to is our own world, set in different time periods. That's when the book comes to life, with Roland navigating our modern world (being fascinated by so much paper, for example) while also dealing with the people whose minds he has invaded.

The usual King problems exist in Drawing. Scenes of violence that go just that one step too far into cartoon, and some really deep hand-wavium to deal with some pretty complex issues. But when King reigns it in, he can write some wonderful action scenes that also display some deep character writing. By the end of the novel, I couldn't help but be more invested--perhaps not so much with Roland, but with his new companions. I still really could care less about anything Tower related, but the people heading there are interesting.

Vampirella: The Dark Powers #2

                                                                   

                                                                     Sittin' pretty

Who knows what's up with Vampirella these days? Is she a super hero? Is she a horror icon? Is she Red Sonja's bestie? Is she all of these things?

Vampirella: The Dark Powers Vampirella joining a team composed of superheroes from other dimensions. The idea being that this team looks for the appearance of heroes in alternate realities and then recruits them. Vampirella is discovered in the 666 (of course) reality and joins the team. Things don't go well, and with this issue, Vampi tries to quit the team. 

It's a surprisingly fun issue. The other team members seem to be composed of old pulp heroes from the Forties, like Black Terror and Green Llama, and they seem shocked by Vampirella's use of violence. Instead of just punching monsters, for example, Vampirella punches into their chests and rips them up from inside, emerging covered in blood and intestines. Little shocking for old time heroes. 

Dan Abnett is writing this, so it has his usual humour (the team members are discussing how they have to get rid of Vampi from the team and she points out that she's walking right behind them) and nods to Warhammer with giant city sized ships floating through space. Abnett has a fondness for cosmic tales, and it's refreshing to see him not half assing this one. The mix of old time heroes with the monokini Not A Vampire Vampi is a fun contrast.

A fun comic that hopefully more people read. 

 

Web of Black Widow #1

                                                    Maybe the 'Web' will make this one stick

Black Widow is one of those characters Marvel Comics doesn't seem to know what to do with. They seem to smell potential and money with her, but have no clear idea how to make that happen. So what we have are movies that are ten years too late and a series of short lived comic book series that ultimately go nowhere.

Here's another one: Web of Black Widow.

This time around the Repent For Your Past trope is being activated. To achieve this, Widow is going to show a video that shows her killing the competitor of a company that is now successful. A killing that happened years ago when she was working for the Russians while the man who runs the company that benefitted from this murder is a)unaware of the murder and b)is a decent human being. After doing this, she then beats up the security guards who try to capture her for showing the video. Security guards that are a)not evil and b)doing their job. 

It's dumb and lazy. The actual fight scene with the security guards takes place on one page that is more a portrait than an example of sequential art. Again, lazy.

Iron Man is involved mainly because he was at the party where Widow played the video. He acts concerned about Black Widow because this isn't like her or something. She escapes Iron Man because it turns out she's a hologram, but we're not sure when that happens. Iron Man calls Captain America to say something is up.

Yeah, we've just been relieved of $3.99, that's what's up.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer Season 8 Issue #10

 

The Buffyverse is over. Everyone has moved on. The chance to return faded a long time ago. Even Dark Horse Comics gave up on the series. To quote The Smiths: "I know it's over, still I cling."

I loved Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I never went to conventions or really talked all that much about it. I never even wrote fan fiction. I think I bought one novel.  But I was in the National Post reviewing the final episode, for reasons which still elude me. So there was a connection, and I guess there still is.

Read this issue of the Dark Horse series this week, dating back to 2008. This was part of the Season 8 arc of the series, where the excitement was palpable: Joss Whedon was writing! There was no budget constraints! This was going to be the Buffy we had always wanted. Look out! Batten the hatches, boys! Here we go!

Aaaand it wasn't as good as we wanted it to be. Apparently, budget constraints worked for Buffy.  This issue shows some of the problems with Season 8, and shows how some of the best elements of the show did continue on. 

First, the Big Bad: Dawn was turned into a giant. This was because she slept with someone she shouldn't have. They couldn't have done this on the show without it looking cheesy. But here? It just looked kind of stupid. 

The Second Big Bag: The Slayer Army. Instead of having a few Slayers, Buffy would lead an army of these stake wielding hellions. They would rob banks to fund their Slayering. The story was going global! There was no budget! Look out!

But like with Giant Dawn, it broke something. Not a great idea. Buffy is the Slayer, as was Faith. That worked. Having a ton of them? It was kinda like that scene in Attack of The Clones where all the Jedi are fighting on Geonosis. It should have been cool, but it's really just a bunch of assholes running around being a bit mediocre.

But this issue did echo elements that made Buffy great. Like the interaction between Buffy and Willow. Their relationship was the true bedrock of the series. Willow's reveal that she chose Buffy over Tara in terms of resurrection was a big moment in this issue. Which in turn echoes back to one of the most painful parts of the original series, when Willow did resurrect Buffy and the horror that entailed. It was a nice coda to that moment. Joss knew his characters well.

As a comic, Buffy was fine. I gave up on the Dark Horse series after the big pregnancy storyline because I found the resolution cheap and insulting. The comic had no budget, they could take the Buffy storyline anywhere except the place where it might actually change the dynamic. It showed a lack of courage and at worst, a con man's poorly executed trick. 

But I still have all my Buffy comics in my collection, and sometimes I like to dip back into them, and remember better times. 

Doctor Sleep

This scene does not occur in the book.

Even though I consider Stephen King one of my favourite authors, I haven't read that many of his books. Night Shift, Carrie, Salem's Lot, Misery, Under The Dome and The Stand are the only ones I've read. Oh, and his excellent On Writing.  That's it. This is something I'm trying to rectify.

So I read Doctor Sleep, a sequel to The Shining, which I haven't read, but have seen the movie. A movie King is not terribly fond of, but which I consider one of my favourite horror films.

 

So, conflict!

Doctor Sleep tells the story of Danny Torrance, the boy with the titular 'Shining' who survived the horrors at the Overlook Hotel in the original novel. Gifted/cursed with psychic powers, he has limited telepathy, can see ghosts, and has an often crippling degree of empathy. The events of the first novel, perhaps coupled with this, have led Dan to a life of alcoholism and drifting, forever trying to dull his powers and escape his past.

Until he reaches rock bottom, makes a few hard decisions, and begins a new life working in a hospice, helping those about to die ease into the next life. For the first time in decades, Dan Torrance is at peace. 

Until a little girl with the same powers he has reaches out to him. And as time passes, Dan realizes the little girl is in danger from others: psychic vampires who feed on children with the Shining.  Suddenly Dan has to protect this little girl from this roving band of child murderers while still dealing with his own issues and ever looming alcoholism.

When I first heard the plot about Doctor Sleep, I had my doubts. It sounded like a B-movie script until I realized most King stories sound like B-movie scripts. What elevates them from that is King's ability to create characters you relate to, and somehow make the more ridiculous aspects of his stories work through the reactions of those characters.

And so it is with Doctor Sleep. The psychic vampires--who call themselves the True Knot--are immortals who live off the soul essence (or 'steam', as they call it) from tortured and dying psychic children. They should be ridicoulous, but King instead makes them innocuous and anonymous. They drive around America in Winnebagos and are the sort of people you wouldn't glance at twice in a Wal-Mart. This makes then even more terrifying than a bunch of slouching goths in bad capes. 

Abra--the little girl with the Shining--is also well written, with all the anger and self indignation of every teenager everywhere. She can defend herself, in her own way, and is in no way portrayed as a victim or helpless child. 

There are a few things that appear in other King books that  he feels fond of: quite a few just 'regular folk', guys in baseball caps and pick up trucks, who are painfully down home but there when you need them in a pinch. They are perhaps the secondary 'normal' people you find in King novels, who are just a bit more normal than the lead characters. It's reassuring that this has continued with King over the years: reg'lar folks dealing with some fucked up shit and dealing with it FINE.

As with the few King books I've read, the ending is, well, okay. It isn't as eye rolling as the one waiting for me at the end of Under The Dome (which I still really enjoyed), but it seemed maybe just a little bit contrived. And that's fine. I loved the book and I fell in love with the characters and the ending was FINE. 

Since I've read the movie varies widely from the novel, I'm dubious about seeing it. But still, this was enjoyable. It's nice to see King still has both the talent and the drive to keep creating on this level. 

We Never Learn Chapter 48

The incredible flirtation adventures of a tutor and the students he tries to teach continue with more inexplicable situations and embarrassments, along with a little bit of personal growth here and there. 

Chapter 48 finds our tutor Nariyuki out on a fake date with fellow cram school student Asumi, whose father suspects the two are not actually dating and is worried his daughter is too focused on school. (Yeah, because that's a problem.) So to ease the old man's mind they go out in a boat on the beach and take fake selfies for her father, which continues the We Never Learn tradition of incredibly creepy fathers with unhealthy obsessions with their daughters.

Continuing with We Never Learn tradition, Nariyuki realizes he's in a boat with an attractive woman in a bikini and suddenly feels uncomfortable. Asumi, as she has always done, torments him, asking him if he prefers the bosoms of his other students. Nariyuki goes into his usual shock. Then the inevitable wave hits the boat, we learn Nariyuki can't swim, and in the process of rescuing him Asumi loses her bikini top, the shaken Nariyuki being held to her now exposed chest.

The rest of the chapter deals with dealing with Asumi's half nakedness and getting back to shore without anyone seeing, which entails a fake make out session to throw off the inexplicable appearance of divers. The chapter ends with a cliffhanger with Nariyuki being confronted with another case of bikinis disappearing.

For a comedy that does not shy away from titillation (clearly), the success of We Never Learn lies with the characters. Despite the torment Asumi puts Nariyuki through, she clearly is fond of him, and he of her. (Asumi is the most adult of the cast, having fallen from the academic path and trying to still become a doctor through cram school and paying her expenses by working at a maid cafe.  With the eternal question of which of these girls Nariyuki will finally settle down with, Asumi seems to be the one best suited for his nervous disposition. )

Not much happens over all, but it's still a solid chapter. Asumi has been a recent addition to the cast, and she is the perfect foil to Nariyuki's deep repression and anxiety. A fun chapter in a fun series. 

Yet Another New Doctor Aphra #1

So here we go again.

Doctor Aphra is getting yet another relaunch, with another very profitable Number One slapped on the cover. This time around Alyssa Wong is handling the writing duties, with Marika Cresta on art. 

The first storyline is entitled Fortune and Fate, and sets up what looks to be a very by the numbers heist with an archaeological twist, since this is Aphra we're talking about. 

The story begins with Aphra and her new crew pillaging the abandoned Hoth base the Rebels escaped from in The Empire Strikes Back. Aphra's ability to plan and, more importantly, to never trust anyone, comes in very handy here. After escaping, Aphra returns to Shadow University on the Outer Rim where she is approached by Detta Yao, a fourth year grad student who wants Aphra's help in liberating some ancient artifacts called the Rings of Vaale. Of course they're cursed. Of course Aphra is interested.

And of course--in pure heist style--the next member of the team they have to recruit (a professor called Eustacia Okaa) has some jagged personal history with Aphra. 

The main villain of the piece is a rich piece of shit called Ronen Tagge, who had tried to recruit Okaa to help him before. (Tagge is related to General Tagge, the Imperial officer Vader choked out for his 'lack of faith' in A New Hope). He wants the Rings as well, but only because he loves to destroy precious art, knowing full well he was the last one to touch them.

The first issue isn't bad. It's clear that Yao is more than the wide eyed student she professes to be. It's also clear the Rings are going to be something other than described. There is a general air of mistrust around everyone, which is how heist set ups should feel. Yet somehow this issue feels like it's smoothing the edges around Aphra, making her more palatable to a new audience. 

One of the things that made Aphra stand out when Kieron Gillen created her was that she was not a nice person. She had two murder droids, for example, and stood by while they tortured people. She's a scam artist.  She's a thief. She assisted Darth Vader with his evil plans and managed to survive her exit interview. She can be pretty damn cold blooded. She isn't a hero. She's out for herself. Which is why she's so refreshing in the rather moral binary make up of the Star Wars universe.

Her moral grayness made her interesting. Yet with this issue, her murder droids are nowhere to be seen. A new droid who seems to major in being cute is introduced. And while Aphra does take the lethal route with a few people in this issue, she still seems far nicer than she's ever been. 

I'm curious to see where this series goes. Will the edges and darkness that make up Aphra be quietly erased, replaced with a more friendly approach? Did someone at Marvel/Disney realize how dark  she and issue a memo? Or will Wong continue on the path set by Gillen and previous writer Sy Spurrier? 

We'll see. Or if Marvel follows suit with titles that don't sell well, we'll never know. At least until the next Number One.

X-Force #8 (2020)

I'm a fan of Domino, the mutant assassin with the power of luck and some weird skin tone issues. But these past few years have been a trial for Domino fans, since the books she is in are either terrible and/or cancelled.

Which brings us to X-Force #8. Domino is back in yet another X-Force book (wasn't the last one cancelled last year? So many Marvel cancellations blur the memory). Will this be the book that breaks the pattern? Will Domino finally be lucky?

So far, Domino has been far from lucky in this run. Kidnapped, tortured, flayed alive, her DNA being used to create a race of Domino killer clones, our girl has had easier times.

Since this is X-Force (generally the darker of all the X-books), things have been grim. But in this issue, Domino starts hitting back, tracking the people who tortured her to Russia. Colossus agrees to accompany her, probably because he's Russian and because apparently he and Domino have a thing? I must have missed that.

The issue started off well, but quickly derailed. Domino taking out another assassin was cool. But when we get back to the new mutant base, there is a weird scene where Colossus apparently advocates Domino commit suicide so she can heal from all the trauma she's suffered.  When did this happen? Colossus has always been a gentle soul, an artist. Now he's offering to help murder a friend.(On the new base--the island Krakoa--no one can die: you just get reborn, brand spanking new.) Domino is all uh-uh about that, and off they go to Russia to deliver vengeance.

Even that's clumsy. In a scene that doesn't appear in the comic, apparently Domino suffers a fatal injury during the battle. From what I gather, she's going to die and will be reborn. But--we never see her getting hurt. She's fine one page, and near death the next. 

Sloppy.

Aside from that, writer Benjamin Percy writes Domino well, but the story isn't clear in many spots. Why didn't more X-Men accompany Domino? Wasn't this a threat to all the X-Men? The island is clogged with mutants--surely someone else could have joined them.Why don't we see how she was hurt? Why is Colossus now the Death Panel for the X-Men? Why did Colossus crash the train? There was no need for that.  And the most important question: how did this get past an editor?

The art here is passable. There is a nice scene with Domino and Colossus fighting on the train against a small cadre of Domino assassins, but it's hurt by the writing, which gives no character to these assassins at all. (We at least had some with the first assassin at the story's beginning, but the others are just figures to be hit and killed.)

So, not an issue to inspire hope. But Marvel has been on a slide for awhile now, and here's more proof of that.

Star Wars: Lords of The Sith

The Disney Star Wars really likes to see Vader kill people. In the old movies, the threat of Vader was enough. Sure, we saw him murder a few people, a few casual choking deaths here and there,  but we never saw the scenes of outright carnage Disney seems so fond of.  That scene in Rogue One, for example, where we spend a movie rooting for the good guys that Vader just slaughters. And how the audience cheered! Narrative dissonance is fun!  And that love of Vader murderizing continues in Lords of the Sith.

Lords of The Sith takes place after the Clone Wars when the seeds of rebellion against the Empire are starting to grow. In the Disney canon, the Rebellion began on one planet--Ryloth--and it's here where most of the novel takes place.

For reasons that don't bear much scrutiny, Darth Vader and the Emperor go to Ryloth just in time to end up facing an attack that strands both of them in the murder jungles of the aforementioned planet. The Free Ryloth movement then spend a lot of time trying to kill them, while dealing with Imperial traitors and their own internal tensions.

There is also a subplot focusing on the tensions between the Emperor and Vader.  Apparently, the Emperor likes to snipe at Vader for his past failures as Anakin Skywalker and to gauge whether or not Vader wants to level up his Sith-ness by murdering the Emperor himself. 

I had hoped for some deep Sith lore like that found in the Drew Karpyshyn novels. I was disappointed. There is really nothing Sith about this book aside from the mutual distrust between the Emperor and Vader and their red lightsabers. It highlights how the whole Sith apprentice program would never really work, because if selfishness is integral to a Sith, why would you ever take an apprentice, especially when the graduation program involves your own murder?

The most interesting character in the book was Isval, a Twi'lek working for the Free Ryloth movement who apparently moonlights as a serial killer of Imperial officers. That was an interesting take, especially when the author starts looking at the differences between 'terrorists' and 'freedom fighters'. The Free Ryloth people kill a lot of people, many of them unarmed. And in that weird thing that Disney does, they are seen somewhat as monsters, while the low level Imperials are seen as stand up guys just doing their jobs. It's that same dissonance that was in Rogue One--just who are we cheering for? The Rebels or the crushing branch of Imperial tyranny?

When Vader is in conflict with the Free Ryloth fighters, the story is fun, because even though we know how this will play out, it was still fun to read. But too much time is spent on Vader just fighting predators in the murder jungles, just slaughtering animals that were just trying to either survive or protect their young. They aren't evil. But Vader and the Emperor get to do back flips and do Force shit against creatures that don't stand a chance against them--and this goes on for pages.

Lords of the Sith isn't a bad book. But it suffers from the same thing all Disney Star Wars suffers from: there doesn't seem a plan to any of this. It's about moments, about cool shit, but not about creating characters that we can relate to or grow fond of.  In the end, it just feels forgettable, and light, and another missed opportunity.

Batman Universe #1

I wasn't aware of the existence of this title, but really, I shouldn't have been surprised.

When Brian Michael Bendis left Marvel to come work for DC Comics, the world just assumed he would take over a Batman book. He excels at street level stories, be it Daredevil or Jessica Jones or Scarlet or Spider-Man....and you get the idea. He's good at urban hero stories, and there is no hero more street level than the Darknight Detective. So when Bendis instead took over some Superman titles, I wasn't the only one surprised.

So now here he is working on a Batman title. (Yes, he did write Batman in Event Leviathan, but I believe this may be the first Batman solo book.) And it is an absolute joy so far.

I'm deliberately not reading any reviews of this book, but part of the joy is that it reads like a team up title. The story begins with Batman investigating a Riddler robbery, but it soon ends up pulling in other unexpected DC characters, like Jenny Hex (Jonah Hex's great granddaughter), as well as Deathstroke and a certain archer who likes green. The story moves along very nicely, with very clear and original art from Nick Derrington. It was just....fun.

 As a kid from a struggling blue collar family growing up, I always tried to spend my allowance on comics that had a lot of characters so that I would get my money's worth. Had Batman Universe been around back then, it would be the first book I would have grabbed from the spinner rack. Batman and other cool characters? Score!

Vampirella/Red Sonja #1

This should have been terrible.

Teaming up Vampirella and Red Sonja seems like the sort of joke lonely comic book writers come up with after a long night of Dungeons and Dragons. If there is any connection between these two characters, it would only seem to be their interesting choices in attire. Vampirella--who isn't really a vampire, even though she kinda is and is actually an alien from the planet...uh...Drakulon, and Red Sonja, a chain mail bikini wearing warrior  who first appeared in the classic Seventies run of Marvel Comics' Conan The Barbarian--don't really seem to fit together in any story that isn't written by an overexcited teenager.

And yet--in the biggest surprise of 2019-- this turned out to be a very good comic.

Written by Jordie Bellaire with art by Drew Moss, the issue is set in 1969 Russia. Vampirella--who goes by 'Ella'--is investigating a grisly series of murders on the Dyatlov Pass. Nine people dead, tongues ripped out, that sort of thing.  Ella is doing this partly because she is drawn to 'dark synchronicities'  and also because she hopes to find other 'monsters' living on Earth, far from home like herself. Posing as a journalist, she follows the lead to the Russian Space Agency, which in turn leads to a surprising discovery high in the Russian mountains.

This issue felt like an episode of Night Stalker or X-Files, with a focus on tracking down leads and investigating a mystery. Men, of course, fall over Ella, but she brushes them away, far more interested in solving the mystery. Bellaire and Moss also make this feel like 1960s Russia, from the kitschy Space Agency to Ella's far more conservative fashion choices.  (For most of the book, her only nod to being a vampire alien is to wear a bat pendant over a red sweater.)

And yes, Red Sonja does appear--and it works. That's all I'll say. I was actually surprised by her appearance, because I'd forgotten she was supposed to be in the book, so wrapped up was I in Ella trying to solve the mystery and her observations on humanity.

Vampirella/Red Sonja surprised me with its quality both as a story and a comic. Wonders will never cease, etc.

The Secret History of Twin Peaks

For me, the story of Twin Peaks is the story of Laura Palmer.

Her murder and the horrors the subsequent investigation revealed are what drew me to Twin Peaks way back in 1990.  That first episode remains one of the most powerful and disturbing bits of television I have ever seen. After the network insisted on an answer to who killed Laura--or, perhaps, an answer people would understand--I felt the show derailed.  I'm not alone in that.

Fire Walk With Me--the prequel leading up to Laura's murder--also disappointed at the time. In the passing years, I've grown to like the movie more because of how it builds the foundation of this cold universe of dark woods, arcane symbols and unrelenting horror that Mark Frost and David Lynch were creating. I didn't like the portrayal of Laura in this film (but still loved Sheryl Lee's chilling performance) because I felt it showed Laura's murder was inevitable. In a sense, that she played a role in her own demise because of her behavior. If it wasn't BOB possessing her father that killed her, someone else would have done it. It was just a matter of time.

I felt this decision undercut the horror of the first season of the show, which was very much about the  shock and grief  unleashed upon a small town over the loss of one of its most beloved children. I can see the narrative appeal of showing the seedier side of small towns, of showing how even the prom queen is corrupt and broken--but it was unnecessary.

Which brings us to The Secret History of Twin Peaks.

This novel by Mark Frost has quite a bit in common with Twin Peaks: The Return:

1. It doesn't spend a lot of time in Twin Peaks.

2. It touches upon Laura Palmer's death, but it is not the focus.

3. Twin Peaks is simply an entryway for the cosmic mythology Frost and Lynch are creating.

These aren't criticisms. I was fascinated by The Return, and I really enjoyed Secret History.  The care that went into both endeavors--and the fact that they even got made--are amazing.

The framework of Secret History is built around the discovery of a lockbox by the FBI. Inside are several documents that relate to Twin Peaks and events around the town over the years. Gordon Cole tasks Agent Tammy Preston to review these documents and prepare a report. Her notes as she goes through the lockbox make up the novel. It's clear that this a test by Cole, which Tammy must have passed, since she is working alongside Cole in Twin Peaks: The Return.

The notes date back to the Lewis and Clark Expedition and extend through the 20th century up to the disappearance of Agent Cooper after Laura Palmer's death. Preston dutifully--and often sarcastically--makes her way through everything in the box. There are photographs, old newspaper clippings, even a menu from the Double R Diner. A picture is painted wide across the conspiracy theory landscape of America. Part of the fun of the book is simply wondering where it's going next. Towards the end, the focus does return to a certain northwestern small town, and to the death of its prom queen.  And then we learn that there are yet more files to go through in the next book.

I enjoyed the book quite a bit. The care that went into creating old manuscripts, Fifties era science fiction typesetting, and even garish pop psychology paperbacks deserves a round of applause. The design of the book makes it a joy to read.

Still, as a Laura Palmer fan, it's clear that her murder was just collateral damage from the real threat facing humanity. That threat is where Frost and Lynch's focus now lies. But Palmer's death was a concrete event (or was, depending on how you see The Return) that you can pin a story to. There is a reality to it. The Lynch/Frost universe of Lodges and BOBS and Dragonball Z Laura Palmer globes is nebulous and open to interpretation even to the point of it being all someone's dream. There can be no finality or resolution because even the idea of anything being real is questionable. The Lynch/Frost Universe and Palmer's death are different stories, and it's clear which one they want to tell now.

And that's fine. There is really nothing quite like Twin Peaks, and I treasure it for that, despite my grumblings.

Uncanny X-Men #6: Comics By Commitee

The only thing worse than a comic book written by committee is one written by a committee with their eyes on the clock.

This continues the rather uninspired Disassembled storyline in which X-Man has attempted to rewrite the world and our beloved X-Men are trying to stop him. It began courageously enough, with X-Man wiping out several religious sites and setting himself up as a sort of messiah. But that quickly devolved into a lot of fighting, speechifying, and the feeling that normal service will soon be resumed.

This issue is no different. The art looks rushed, with wasted two page spreads that do nothing that a single panel could have done. There are a lot of X-Men in this book, but far too many of them just stand around and look vaguely concerned. There is an attempt to focus on lesser known X-Men, but it's just so forced and painful, hinging on a young X-Men asking the deranged X-Man if he's like totally sure what he's doing is right.  This apparently gives him pause.

Yep.

If that's not enough, Jubilee is thrown through two walls of a house and is fine. Two walls. I've looked up her power set and there's nothing about invulnerability there.

The issue also ends with something that left me--an X-Men fan for over forty years--puzzled, and had to be explained by a sloppy editorial by the book's editor. The book also has three writers, and we all know how well that always goes, and it shows.

It's a mess, and to my horror, I have over a year's worth of this run in my collection. I'm slowly starting to realize that I buy a lot of Marvel and DC Comics because I love these characters and not because they are actually any good. Here is proof positive of that insight.

Event Leviathan: A Summer Event For The Nihilists

This book had me at 6 Issue Mystery Thriller.

Brian Michael Bendis is one of my favourite writers because he does street level superheroes so damned well. I loved his work on Daredevil and Jessica Jones, and his run on Avengers is my favourite after Jonathon Hickman's. (Yeah, yeah, I know Avengers isn't street level, but there were a lot of low level power people in his team, so street enough for me.)

So when Bendis came to DC, I thought for sure he'd go straight for a Batman book. But no, he went with the Superman books, and I thought: Huh. So now that he's writing a street level detective story starring you-know-who, I feel everything is right in the world. Mostly.

I've read the first two books in this, but not any of the many tie-ins. Fortunately, there is enough information given so that I wasn't a-swoon with confusion. Essentially, someone is wiping out all the intelligence organizations in the DC Universe: taking out entire buildings and the staff inside--although so far no one can find any bodies. The person behind all this is called Leviathan, and Batman has assembled a team of detectives to try and figure out just who this Leviathan is, and what their next move is. 

The team is interesting because it's clear these are the characters/toys Bendis wanted to play with: we have Batman, Green Arrow, and The Question--who you expect in a detective mystery--, but we also have interesting choices like Lois Lane, Plastic Man, and Manhunter.  Lois isn't really a surprise, since she is one of the most intelligent characters in the DC Universe these days, but seeing Manhunter again was nice.

Alex Maleev is the king of gritty urban art, and he doesn't disappoint here, with scenes of dirty buildings set against sky swallowing full moons and dark rooms swimming in shadows and imminent death. It's a joy.

About A Hit Girl

If you're looking for a comic with someone in a compromising situation with a Nintendo DS, then look no farther.

I enjoyed the second incarnation of Kick-Ass a few months ago, and thought I'd try another book from that bloodsoaked universe. Hit-Girl: Hong Kong is part of an ongoing tale where the murderous teenager dishes out justice to criminals all over the planet. Now, she's just landed in Hong Kong to deal with a triad. There will be blood, and probably lots of it.

Hit-Girl is basically the Punisher with pigtails. (In fact, there's a scene where she enters her new seedy apartment in Hong Kong and you can see an homage to the Punisher on the mailboxes). Just as the Punisher doesn't really fit into the Marvel Universe (because no heroes willingly kill but he offs at least three scumbags before breakfast), Hit-Girl is an odd fit in the Kick-Ass universe. The concept behind Kick-Ass is how a normal person could actually be a super-hero without getting killed, but Hit-Girl murders people with a grace not normally seen outside of a Hong Kong martial arts film. The narrative rules that keep things 'real' with Kick-Ass don't seem to apply to Hit-Girl. She always seems to be from a different comic.

So on her own, devoid of that relative sense of realism from the Kick-Ass books, there's never any feeling that Hit Girl ain't got this. Of course, since this is Book One of Four, complications arise because there are three other issues to go and something's gotta happen in those. But there's never a feeling that she won't succeed because, well, she's Hit-Girl.

So to offset that certainty and attendant surprise, we have scenes that will probably offend someone, somewhere. There's the Nintendo DS scene, and there's a page with someone walking down a hall that may cause some people to gasp. And a few of Hit-Girl's kills are fairly graphic, because, well, she's Hit-Girl.

Goran Parlov's art is very good, with a nice full page of Hong Kong seen at night as one of the highlights.  The action scenes are well choreographed, and his ability to convey emotion (mainly rage and disgust, which are the go-to emotions in this issue) are spot on.

Hit-Girl: Hong Kong Issue One sets up what it needs to in order to continue the carnage for the next three issues. It would be nice to have a bit more character development, but, well, this is Hit-Girl.

Adjective Noun Bad Guys Are The Best Bad Guys: Action Comics #1001

One of the best things about this story is that a brat sells out Superman for what looks like Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

Written by Brian Michael Bendis with beautiful art by Patrick Gleason, Action Comics #1001 is a good reminder of how good a character Superman can be--under the right hands.  Bendis's Superman is very much inspired by Christopher Reeve's interpretation of the hero from 1978's Superman: he's polite, floats away from mere mortals, and is just so goddamned nice.  But he's also somewhat god-like, so much so that people openly admit to being intimidated by him. Villains can't even say his name without him flying by to see what's up. He's like a universal CCTV with a smile.

With someone so powerful, Bendis realizes that few physical enemies can stop him. But even a common thug can befuddle the Kryptonian if he lacks one important thing: knowing just what in hell they're up to.

To this end, a group of gangsters have taken to having meetings in a lead tank, because lead is the only thing Superman can't see or hear through.  They also have code names named after food, which is wonderful because it's stupid, and I love stupid things.

This issue shows the shenanigans this food mafia is getting up to, all without Superman knowing the threat mobsters called Yogurt are up to. As well, it introduces a new enemy called Red Cloud. Red Cloud is my favourite type of villain: an adjective noun baddie, which shows how little it takes to please me.  Red Cloud is--you guessed it--a cloud person who is untouchable but can still murderize you if, say, you draw Superman's attention to you by giving a kid money for Yu-Gi-Oh cards to spread shit about Superman.

It's a fun comic, which is what all Superman comics should be.

Murder Hogwarts: Deadly Class Volume One

I like to read cheerful things, so when I heard about a comic about a school dedicated to creating murderous assassins, I said Count me in!

Deadly Class: 1987: Reagan Youth tells the uplifting tale of one Marcus Lopez Arguello. A homeless teenage boy, Marcus' family was destroyed directly because of cuts to mental health programs made by President Ronald Reagan. The trauma of losing his family was compounded by cruel abuse suffered as he was shuffled through the child services system. As a result, Marcus took some rather direct action against his abusers, and is now not only homeless, but on the run for murder.

When he's offered enrollment in the Kings Dominion School of The Deadly Arts, Marcus initially refuses. But it becomes clear that he was chosen not for his ability to kill, but for some other more humane quality he displays. After some convincing by a tattooed girl with a talent for katanas, he enrolls.

This first volume details Marcus' introduction to the less than welcoming School of Deadly Arts, with its many factions and allegiances. The student body is almost entirely composed of the children of drug lords and assassins from around the globe, so don't expect any cheerful Harry Potter-like scenes of golden lit fraternity round a roaring fire. These are kids with chips on their shoulders and blood on their hands. Still, we get to see kids just being kids: lying about their families, having crushes, making bad interpersonal decisions, maybe taking way too much acid, and this being 1987, discussing how great the Smiths are. That, and killing homeless people for a class assignment.

The final arc of this volume deals with Marcus and his new friends taking an ill advised trip to Las Vegas, which goes as well as you would expect.

I am a fan of Deadly Class' writer, Rick Remender, and he does not disappoint. My only criticism of the book would be one character out to murder Marcus (get in line, pal) that just goes a little too far on the Edgy Meter. Aside from that, Remender creates a cast that is fascinating and unsettling. The art by Wes Craig is perfect for this book, and his action scenes are just a joy to stare at in wonder, complemented by Lee Loughridge's page-popping colours.

For a comic about murder and the horrors of society, Deadly Class is a beautiful book. The perfect gift for the lonely outsider in your life.

I Am A Hero Omnibus 4

As I pick up each new volume of I Am A Hero, I ask myself: Is this where it starts to suck?

As I finished reading I Am A Hero Omnibus 4, I sighed and thought ''No, not yet."

One of the themes that runs through this zombie apocalypse saga is how people become unexpected heroes, in the process surprising themselves moreso than anyone else. The first volume centered on mentally ill manga artist Hideo Suzuki, but as the story progressed more and more instances of small heroism became evident.  From an elderly woman giving a teenage girl proper boots as chaos rages around them to those infected with the zombie virus struggling to save their loved ones, I Am A Hero casts a wide narrative net to express this theme.

The story also has shown the worst that humanity can offer, especially in times of crisis. This volume centres around Hideo and struggling Hiromi taking refuge with a group living on the roof of an open air mall. Hideo's relief at finding some sort of sanctuary is shattered as he discovers the truth: a cruel dictatorship has arisen among the young men ruling the terrified refugees, demanding complete obedience or face being thrown down to the zombie hordes below.

It is among these refugees that we are introduced to Tsugumi Oda.  She is suffering especially hard underneath the mall roof tyranny, yet still retains enough anger to survive. Much of the focus of this volume is on Oda, and how she still retains her humanity, especially when it comes to Hiromi and Hideo.

This volume highlights the monsters that people can become moreso than the threat of the zombies. But the odd zombies--or ZDQs, as they are called in the story--are given more light, as we see just how cruel this virus can be. These are not the shuffling, mindless hordes we see in Romero movies or The Walking Dead. They are just as deadly, but far more heartbreaking.

The volume also has some great action scenes, especially around an attempt by the roof crew to get supplies from the mall food court. At this point, the pages tended to fly by as I wanted to see just how in hell things would end.

I Am A Hero continues to be the best zombie comic I've read in a very, very long time.

The Ride: Burning Desire

Imagine my surprise when I discovered The Ride: Burning Desire was a celebration of a comic that come out 15 years ago, a comic I had never heard of.  I spend a lot of time in comic book stores, and I think I have a passing knowledge of most books from the Big Three. Guess not.

As explained in this issue's backnotes, The Ride is a shared pulp/noir world where comic creators were given free rein to tell their stories. A 1968 Camaro--the titular Ride--would serve as a connection between stories.

Being a fan of crime stories, be it Elmore Leonard, Brubaker's Criminal, Rucka's Stumptown or Hard Case Crime novels, I thought I'd give this a try. Even without having read the previous stories, The Ride: Burning Desire was still an enjoyable read that pulled me in the way good crime stories do.

The comic is divided into two stories. The first story deals with ex-con/ex-cop Samantha Vega. Fresh out of prison, she's working security at an exotic dance bar when some assholes decide to step out of line. This results in Vega getting arrested by a police force with a long memory that features a lot of Vega, and why she ended up in prison.  Things are made clear to her in a small room, and we know that things are about to get worse. So, joyful.

The second story is entitled Sparkles, with gorgeous art by Adam Hughes. It deals with Kiri, a woman whose brother in law covets her a bit too much. This ends in his meeting with a rather unexpected unhappy ending, and Kiri having to take it on the lam. It also seems to allow Hughes to draw a very Power Girl looking Kiri in the nude, and make a head wound look a lot like a vagina. Free rein, remember!

The Ride is a cool idea, and the writer and artists here make it even cooler. I look forward to the next issue.