Uncanny X-Men #6: Comics By Commitee

The only thing worse than a comic book written by committee is one written by a committee with their eyes on the clock.

This continues the rather uninspired Disassembled storyline in which X-Man has attempted to rewrite the world and our beloved X-Men are trying to stop him. It began courageously enough, with X-Man wiping out several religious sites and setting himself up as a sort of messiah. But that quickly devolved into a lot of fighting, speechifying, and the feeling that normal service will soon be resumed.

This issue is no different. The art looks rushed, with wasted two page spreads that do nothing that a single panel could have done. There are a lot of X-Men in this book, but far too many of them just stand around and look vaguely concerned. There is an attempt to focus on lesser known X-Men, but it's just so forced and painful, hinging on a young X-Men asking the deranged X-Man if he's like totally sure what he's doing is right.  This apparently gives him pause.

Yep.

If that's not enough, Jubilee is thrown through two walls of a house and is fine. Two walls. I've looked up her power set and there's nothing about invulnerability there.

The issue also ends with something that left me--an X-Men fan for over forty years--puzzled, and had to be explained by a sloppy editorial by the book's editor. The book also has three writers, and we all know how well that always goes, and it shows.

It's a mess, and to my horror, I have over a year's worth of this run in my collection. I'm slowly starting to realize that I buy a lot of Marvel and DC Comics because I love these characters and not because they are actually any good. Here is proof positive of that insight.

Chaos! Shouting! Mutants! Uncanny X-Men #9

I've recently started reading Uncanny X-Men again out of nostalgia, so you can guess how good that's going.

As a teenager, I loved this book. Written by Chris Claremont, it was the perfect angsty soap opera to clutch as you navigated adolescence in the Eighties. Now, many years later, you can't help but see the book in a much different, some would say cynical,  perspective.

The first difference I noticed was that instead of one writer, this issue has three: Matthew Rosenberg, Kelly Thompson and Ed Brisson It's a group thing! The story this time is another part in a long-running storyline called Disassembled, which seems to be about the end of the world, or maybe the X-Men. I really wasn't sure.

This issue hits the X-Men checklist fairly well. A powerful mutant wanting to remake the world and only the X-Men can stop him? Check. Anti-mutant sentiment wanting all mutants gone? Check. The government perhaps taking steps to take down mutants because they hate them, too? Checkity check. Lots of shouting in a confused battle scene where you have no idea what's going on? Cheeeeeck. Does Kitty Pryde save someone who hates her because that's what X-Men do? Well, check that one, too.

The big bad this time is X-Man, who I thought was Cable, but maybe this is a different Cable from (sigh) another dimension. I don't know. The book never told me. He's somehow in the mind of Legion, who we are told is an Omega Level mutant, which means look the fuck out. There is huge, rather clumsily staged fight between X-Man's support team (including a brainwashed Storm) and the gaggle of X-Men on site. Jean Grey is leading the team now, in a very catchy blue and red outfit. There was no sign of Cyclops or Wolverine, although Nightcrawler was there, but now with a beard.

It was a nostalgia twang to see Jean psychically calling for help with a To me, my X-Men, which used to be Professor X's thing. Oh, he wasn't here, either.

So the issue ends with more X-Men arriving for next issue's big battle.

As an X-Men comic, it was okay. Yildiray Cinar's is fine, with some clear attention to faces, and the page set up worked, with the exception of the battle scenes, which were cluttered and way too busy.
The comic had the feel of an X-Men book, but one from the Nineties. I fell in love with the quiet character interplay back then, but this was just a lot of shouting. (To be fair, I did like the focus--as much as this book was capable of that--on lesser known X-Men like Armor, especially with her stupid but brave attempt to solve a battlefield problem.)

So, a shrug, I guess. I already knew you could never come home again, so at least that wasn't a surprise.