Uncanny X-Men #6: Comics By Commitee

The only thing worse than a comic book written by committee is one written by a committee with their eyes on the clock.

This continues the rather uninspired Disassembled storyline in which X-Man has attempted to rewrite the world and our beloved X-Men are trying to stop him. It began courageously enough, with X-Man wiping out several religious sites and setting himself up as a sort of messiah. But that quickly devolved into a lot of fighting, speechifying, and the feeling that normal service will soon be resumed.

This issue is no different. The art looks rushed, with wasted two page spreads that do nothing that a single panel could have done. There are a lot of X-Men in this book, but far too many of them just stand around and look vaguely concerned. There is an attempt to focus on lesser known X-Men, but it's just so forced and painful, hinging on a young X-Men asking the deranged X-Man if he's like totally sure what he's doing is right.  This apparently gives him pause.

Yep.

If that's not enough, Jubilee is thrown through two walls of a house and is fine. Two walls. I've looked up her power set and there's nothing about invulnerability there.

The issue also ends with something that left me--an X-Men fan for over forty years--puzzled, and had to be explained by a sloppy editorial by the book's editor. The book also has three writers, and we all know how well that always goes, and it shows.

It's a mess, and to my horror, I have over a year's worth of this run in my collection. I'm slowly starting to realize that I buy a lot of Marvel and DC Comics because I love these characters and not because they are actually any good. Here is proof positive of that insight.

Event Leviathan: A Summer Event For The Nihilists

This book had me at 6 Issue Mystery Thriller.

Brian Michael Bendis is one of my favourite writers because he does street level superheroes so damned well. I loved his work on Daredevil and Jessica Jones, and his run on Avengers is my favourite after Jonathon Hickman's. (Yeah, yeah, I know Avengers isn't street level, but there were a lot of low level power people in his team, so street enough for me.)

So when Bendis came to DC, I thought for sure he'd go straight for a Batman book. But no, he went with the Superman books, and I thought: Huh. So now that he's writing a street level detective story starring you-know-who, I feel everything is right in the world. Mostly.

I've read the first two books in this, but not any of the many tie-ins. Fortunately, there is enough information given so that I wasn't a-swoon with confusion. Essentially, someone is wiping out all the intelligence organizations in the DC Universe: taking out entire buildings and the staff inside--although so far no one can find any bodies. The person behind all this is called Leviathan, and Batman has assembled a team of detectives to try and figure out just who this Leviathan is, and what their next move is. 

The team is interesting because it's clear these are the characters/toys Bendis wanted to play with: we have Batman, Green Arrow, and The Question--who you expect in a detective mystery--, but we also have interesting choices like Lois Lane, Plastic Man, and Manhunter.  Lois isn't really a surprise, since she is one of the most intelligent characters in the DC Universe these days, but seeing Manhunter again was nice.

Alex Maleev is the king of gritty urban art, and he doesn't disappoint here, with scenes of dirty buildings set against sky swallowing full moons and dark rooms swimming in shadows and imminent death. It's a joy.

About A Hit Girl

If you're looking for a comic with someone in a compromising situation with a Nintendo DS, then look no farther.

I enjoyed the second incarnation of Kick-Ass a few months ago, and thought I'd try another book from that bloodsoaked universe. Hit-Girl: Hong Kong is part of an ongoing tale where the murderous teenager dishes out justice to criminals all over the planet. Now, she's just landed in Hong Kong to deal with a triad. There will be blood, and probably lots of it.

Hit-Girl is basically the Punisher with pigtails. (In fact, there's a scene where she enters her new seedy apartment in Hong Kong and you can see an homage to the Punisher on the mailboxes). Just as the Punisher doesn't really fit into the Marvel Universe (because no heroes willingly kill but he offs at least three scumbags before breakfast), Hit-Girl is an odd fit in the Kick-Ass universe. The concept behind Kick-Ass is how a normal person could actually be a super-hero without getting killed, but Hit-Girl murders people with a grace not normally seen outside of a Hong Kong martial arts film. The narrative rules that keep things 'real' with Kick-Ass don't seem to apply to Hit-Girl. She always seems to be from a different comic.

So on her own, devoid of that relative sense of realism from the Kick-Ass books, there's never any feeling that Hit Girl ain't got this. Of course, since this is Book One of Four, complications arise because there are three other issues to go and something's gotta happen in those. But there's never a feeling that she won't succeed because, well, she's Hit-Girl.

So to offset that certainty and attendant surprise, we have scenes that will probably offend someone, somewhere. There's the Nintendo DS scene, and there's a page with someone walking down a hall that may cause some people to gasp. And a few of Hit-Girl's kills are fairly graphic, because, well, she's Hit-Girl.

Goran Parlov's art is very good, with a nice full page of Hong Kong seen at night as one of the highlights.  The action scenes are well choreographed, and his ability to convey emotion (mainly rage and disgust, which are the go-to emotions in this issue) are spot on.

Hit-Girl: Hong Kong Issue One sets up what it needs to in order to continue the carnage for the next three issues. It would be nice to have a bit more character development, but, well, this is Hit-Girl.

Adjective Noun Bad Guys Are The Best Bad Guys: Action Comics #1001

One of the best things about this story is that a brat sells out Superman for what looks like Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

Written by Brian Michael Bendis with beautiful art by Patrick Gleason, Action Comics #1001 is a good reminder of how good a character Superman can be--under the right hands.  Bendis's Superman is very much inspired by Christopher Reeve's interpretation of the hero from 1978's Superman: he's polite, floats away from mere mortals, and is just so goddamned nice.  But he's also somewhat god-like, so much so that people openly admit to being intimidated by him. Villains can't even say his name without him flying by to see what's up. He's like a universal CCTV with a smile.

With someone so powerful, Bendis realizes that few physical enemies can stop him. But even a common thug can befuddle the Kryptonian if he lacks one important thing: knowing just what in hell they're up to.

To this end, a group of gangsters have taken to having meetings in a lead tank, because lead is the only thing Superman can't see or hear through.  They also have code names named after food, which is wonderful because it's stupid, and I love stupid things.

This issue shows the shenanigans this food mafia is getting up to, all without Superman knowing the threat mobsters called Yogurt are up to. As well, it introduces a new enemy called Red Cloud. Red Cloud is my favourite type of villain: an adjective noun baddie, which shows how little it takes to please me.  Red Cloud is--you guessed it--a cloud person who is untouchable but can still murderize you if, say, you draw Superman's attention to you by giving a kid money for Yu-Gi-Oh cards to spread shit about Superman.

It's a fun comic, which is what all Superman comics should be.

Murder Hogwarts: Deadly Class Volume One

I like to read cheerful things, so when I heard about a comic about a school dedicated to creating murderous assassins, I said Count me in!

Deadly Class: 1987: Reagan Youth tells the uplifting tale of one Marcus Lopez Arguello. A homeless teenage boy, Marcus' family was destroyed directly because of cuts to mental health programs made by President Ronald Reagan. The trauma of losing his family was compounded by cruel abuse suffered as he was shuffled through the child services system. As a result, Marcus took some rather direct action against his abusers, and is now not only homeless, but on the run for murder.

When he's offered enrollment in the Kings Dominion School of The Deadly Arts, Marcus initially refuses. But it becomes clear that he was chosen not for his ability to kill, but for some other more humane quality he displays. After some convincing by a tattooed girl with a talent for katanas, he enrolls.

This first volume details Marcus' introduction to the less than welcoming School of Deadly Arts, with its many factions and allegiances. The student body is almost entirely composed of the children of drug lords and assassins from around the globe, so don't expect any cheerful Harry Potter-like scenes of golden lit fraternity round a roaring fire. These are kids with chips on their shoulders and blood on their hands. Still, we get to see kids just being kids: lying about their families, having crushes, making bad interpersonal decisions, maybe taking way too much acid, and this being 1987, discussing how great the Smiths are. That, and killing homeless people for a class assignment.

The final arc of this volume deals with Marcus and his new friends taking an ill advised trip to Las Vegas, which goes as well as you would expect.

I am a fan of Deadly Class' writer, Rick Remender, and he does not disappoint. My only criticism of the book would be one character out to murder Marcus (get in line, pal) that just goes a little too far on the Edgy Meter. Aside from that, Remender creates a cast that is fascinating and unsettling. The art by Wes Craig is perfect for this book, and his action scenes are just a joy to stare at in wonder, complemented by Lee Loughridge's page-popping colours.

For a comic about murder and the horrors of society, Deadly Class is a beautiful book. The perfect gift for the lonely outsider in your life.

I Am A Hero Omnibus 4

As I pick up each new volume of I Am A Hero, I ask myself: Is this where it starts to suck?

As I finished reading I Am A Hero Omnibus 4, I sighed and thought ''No, not yet."

One of the themes that runs through this zombie apocalypse saga is how people become unexpected heroes, in the process surprising themselves moreso than anyone else. The first volume centered on mentally ill manga artist Hideo Suzuki, but as the story progressed more and more instances of small heroism became evident.  From an elderly woman giving a teenage girl proper boots as chaos rages around them to those infected with the zombie virus struggling to save their loved ones, I Am A Hero casts a wide narrative net to express this theme.

The story also has shown the worst that humanity can offer, especially in times of crisis. This volume centres around Hideo and struggling Hiromi taking refuge with a group living on the roof of an open air mall. Hideo's relief at finding some sort of sanctuary is shattered as he discovers the truth: a cruel dictatorship has arisen among the young men ruling the terrified refugees, demanding complete obedience or face being thrown down to the zombie hordes below.

It is among these refugees that we are introduced to Tsugumi Oda.  She is suffering especially hard underneath the mall roof tyranny, yet still retains enough anger to survive. Much of the focus of this volume is on Oda, and how she still retains her humanity, especially when it comes to Hiromi and Hideo.

This volume highlights the monsters that people can become moreso than the threat of the zombies. But the odd zombies--or ZDQs, as they are called in the story--are given more light, as we see just how cruel this virus can be. These are not the shuffling, mindless hordes we see in Romero movies or The Walking Dead. They are just as deadly, but far more heartbreaking.

The volume also has some great action scenes, especially around an attempt by the roof crew to get supplies from the mall food court. At this point, the pages tended to fly by as I wanted to see just how in hell things would end.

I Am A Hero continues to be the best zombie comic I've read in a very, very long time.

The Ride: Burning Desire

Imagine my surprise when I discovered The Ride: Burning Desire was a celebration of a comic that come out 15 years ago, a comic I had never heard of.  I spend a lot of time in comic book stores, and I think I have a passing knowledge of most books from the Big Three. Guess not.

As explained in this issue's backnotes, The Ride is a shared pulp/noir world where comic creators were given free rein to tell their stories. A 1968 Camaro--the titular Ride--would serve as a connection between stories.

Being a fan of crime stories, be it Elmore Leonard, Brubaker's Criminal, Rucka's Stumptown or Hard Case Crime novels, I thought I'd give this a try. Even without having read the previous stories, The Ride: Burning Desire was still an enjoyable read that pulled me in the way good crime stories do.

The comic is divided into two stories. The first story deals with ex-con/ex-cop Samantha Vega. Fresh out of prison, she's working security at an exotic dance bar when some assholes decide to step out of line. This results in Vega getting arrested by a police force with a long memory that features a lot of Vega, and why she ended up in prison.  Things are made clear to her in a small room, and we know that things are about to get worse. So, joyful.

The second story is entitled Sparkles, with gorgeous art by Adam Hughes. It deals with Kiri, a woman whose brother in law covets her a bit too much. This ends in his meeting with a rather unexpected unhappy ending, and Kiri having to take it on the lam. It also seems to allow Hughes to draw a very Power Girl looking Kiri in the nude, and make a head wound look a lot like a vagina. Free rein, remember!

The Ride is a cool idea, and the writer and artists here make it even cooler. I look forward to the next issue.